Confidence

I went to the Bucks County Horse Park today with Stormy and one of my students who was riding my paint gelding Sampson. Sampson is pretty new to Living Water's, and although he has quite the personality and opinion sometimes on how he is ridden, he has been fitting in pretty well to our program. We have newly discovered that he likes going out on the trails and likes to jump. He has only been over a few jumps and Stormy hasn't been over that many fences let alone jumped cross country very much so we decided to stick with the small stuff.
My old horse Pete would have dragged me to every fence and jumped anything I put in front of him. He is a fairly good sized horse so some of the bigger jumps would have posed no problem for him and I never felt scared because I knew he would take care of me, even when he was being wild :) But Stormy is different. She is young, smaller, and lacks experience. She acts brave, but I can feel her hesitate through my body. I have to ride the whole time and guide her through. I wouldn't throw her at anything big even if I wanted to. My student too has only jumped school horses that pretty much take everything in stride so it was different being on a horse that needed the extra push to get over the jump. That hesitation in a horse can be a bit scary when you're not sure what they will do. But by the end of the ride both horses were jumping small fences easily. Stormy actually started to eat up the ground between logs, sizing up the distance, and jumping confidently. And then I felt better too. I really enjoyed the last few jumps because she was enjoying them.
We started talking about this cycle of confidence. In horse training it is always important to go slow and always check your basics. If I present my horse with a small situation where they will be successful, they gain confidence. They gain confidence not only in themselves, but in me. When I feel the horse's confidence it encourages me to approach the next situation with confidence. My confidence in the horse and the new task helps the horse know it can complete the next task, and the next task, and then next task, etc. By moving in small increments I know what the horse can handle and the horse knows that whatever situation I put it in it will most likely succeed and it is willing to try.
It made me think of a few instances in the Bible where people have trusted God...in particular the words that stuck out to me were "I know whom I have believed." 2 Tim 1:12 'For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.' Or other instances 'For I am convince' or 'unfailing love', etc. We say we trust in God because we have the assurance of who God is. Then I'm not sure why I don't live as if I trust Christ. I have had so many instances in my life where things were falling apart and God stood by me-it should be easy for me to hand him my circumstances now. My lack of confidence in Christ is my fault. He has proven to be trustworthy. He has offered me help at every turn and I have forgotten to see that. Luckily God's grace is not above letting me start at the basics again. He is willing to let me start over and trust Him with one thing at a time. And when I see how He will answer Me, my trust will be renewed and grow stronger and I will continue to confidently commit the rest of my life to Him piece by piece.
And maybe eventually I'll jump the 3ft cordwood fence right before the water jump at the park...