Fancy

Whoever named this horse must not have been in their right mind. She is anything, but fancy. Her white fur is almost always a dingy yellow. Her hair is fluffy and frizzy and sticks out everywhere. She has melanomas (tumors common in grey horses) on her neck and jawline. Her pink-skinned eyes (although I put every eye drop, cream, ointment known to man in them) are often infected and goopy eye boogers drip down her face. Even when not infected her eyes only are half opened making her appear half asleep. Her conformation is terrible, her knees almost touch and she is pigeon toed, therefore making her hooves have an awkward twisting effect. She doesn't have fancy movement at all, in fact it was commented that 'Big Bertha' would be a better name for her, because she drags her body along as if it were the heaviest thing on the planet. There is no spring, no lightness, no grace to how she moves. She holds her neck straight as a board, resists softening her mouth to the bit, leans to the left, and is totally on her forehand. She is just a mess.

As I rode her the other day (trying desperately to reverse some of those tendencies) I stopped for a minute and thought about what Fancy does have going for her. She is sound-against all odds of conformation and gait quality-she is completely 100% sound and that is half the battle with horses. She walks, trots, and canters on both leads-not beautifully, but she does do it. And without engaging her hind end at all she manages to make all manner of figures in the ring, including circles, serpentines, and figure eights, and negotiate any set of trot poles successfully. She seems half asleep, but she is never startled, as is the fear with horses that don't pay attention. Her ambling walk and lack of spring are perfect for small kids and beginners who are over faced by big moving horses and whether its the sleepy appearance or steady solid feeling she makes even the most fearful rider feel comfortable. Fancy is not fancy, but she is a good horse, and a good horse to teach lessons on and spread joy to a lot of people.

God often uses the things that don't seem to have value to fulfill His purposes. The world sets such a standard for how life should be, what it means to be successful, rich, beautiful. We often get caught up in being worthy of those standards. 1 Samuel 16:7 God does not view things the way men do. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I've heard this recited a hundred times in Church and Sunday School, but it hit me the other day how much I am concerned with my outward appearance. Sure it's good to take care of yourself and your things as good stewards of what God has given you, and it's good to outwardly do good things to others, but do you ever take as much time to prepare your heart as you do to prepare the outside of yourself? I'll admit the inside of me probably looks a lot like Fancy, a mess. My heart isn't really worthy of much good. I judge, I criticize, I think horrible things about people, I'm selfish with my time, I'm lazy. While I may strive on the outside to look pretty good, my inside always just seems so unworthy of God's love and unworthy to be used by Him. But that's the beauty of the gospel. I don't have to clean up my act to be good enough for God. It can't be done-it'd be like saying we were going to show Fancy Grand Prix at Devon. It just can't happen. God loves me-having no good in me-enough to send His son to die for me, so that He sees not me and my mess of a sinful heart, but His son, who he loves. And it's not hopeless-though I may still sin and feel like a mess, God is not measuring me by keeping some standard, He counts me acceptable by my acceptance of Jesus's death for me. Then I am free to learn to obey Him out of love and over time, slowly get rid of the mess.

Mess and all, God has me here at Living Water Stables for a purpose. I'm not sure what all of that entails yet, but I do know it means taking care of Fancy, getting past her looks and seeing the heart of a humble servant :)

-Ashley