Running the Race

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 12- "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us , and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I am a runner and can identify with life being a race and needing endurance. In fact I'm running my first marathon on Monday, the Boston Marathon. A marathon is a prestigious goal that not many choose. It is a respectable goal. I like running-more than most people I'd say, and I can run a bunch of miles happily and get lost in my thoughts. I enjoy having just me and the road and my music. But 26 miles, that's a different story. Our 20 mile training run was not fun, nor did it feel good. Everything ached, my knees killed me and stayed swollen afterwards, nothing about it was good. I pretty much felt like I might die.

This made me think of the rest of the passage of chapter 12.
"Think of him who endured such opposition against himself by sinners, so that you may not grow weary in your souls and give up. You have not yet resisted to the point of bloodshed in your struggle against sin. And have you forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons?“My son, do not scorn the Lord’s discipline or give up when he corrects you. “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son he accepts.” Endure your suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? But if you do not experience discipline, something all sons have shared in, then you are illegitimate and are not sons. Besides, we have experienced discipline from our earthly fathers and we respected them; shall we not submit ourselves all the more to the Father of spirits and receive life? For they disciplined us for a little while as seemed good to them, but he does so for our benefit, that we may share his holiness. Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it.Therefore, strengthen your listless hands and your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but be healed.

So many times I think I get stuck on the first part, the encouraging part and say yea I love Jesus, I can run this race because people and God will be cheering me on, and I can just get rid of my sin and keep my eyes on Jesus and everything will be great. Did you ever really ponder the rest of the words in the verses?-all of the sudden I'm seeing words like opposition, and bloodshed, and discipline, and struggle, and painful. And I'd like to say I didn't sign up for that when I said I'd run the race.

A lot of the time life is just awful. It's not fair, it's monotonous, it's cruel, it's back breaking, it is devastating. It is so many things that make me think it's not worth the running. It just seems like running and not getting anywhere. There's no praise, no results, nothing.

So why keep running?

Because of how I'm going to feel at the end. In a long run, I've learned to mentally battle fatigue by telling myself how good I'm going to feel when I say I accomplished running that far and I didn't give up.

For Christ I know that the end result is going to matter. There's a promise waiting in eternity and it is going to feel incredible to be told "well done good an faithful servant" you finished the race.

But what about the fact that I'm still stuck in the middle of the race? You know lately despite the fact that God has been blessing me and truly taking care of me I feel like he has with held things I want. I'm angry that things haven't gone my way, that people around me are hurting, and that God has taken things I care about. I see all my flaws and how I can't escape them and I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I even doubt God or am upset with Him I feel not good enough for Him to even waste time on. I don't want to rejoice or endure. If discipline is how to get peace and righteousness I don't want it.

But because I have this relationship with Jesus, I know certain things about Him. I've seen Him work in different areas of my life and there are some things I know to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt. I've learned there can be faith in circumstances and a faith in Jesus. The faith in circumstances changes. It goes with whether I like what is going on in my life or not. But Faith in the person of Jesus Christ is hinged on Truth. Do I believe that God is who He says He is and that He sent His Son to die for me so that I may have life? Do I believe what He promises is real-and that He has set in motion a purposeful story in which He is going to redeem a broken world and set it all right again-where love reigns? Do I really believe that Jesus is better and greater than anything in this world and that He alone wants satisfy me and give me the desires of my heart despite my failure to ever be worthy of any of this? Do I believe that even though I may never get all the answers, Jesus can be enough for me?

Yes. I believe that. It doesn't feel very good right now, I'm struggling in this race, but I know Jesus is faithful to complete His work in me. He hasn't left me alone (even though I wonder sometimes). He loves me. He knows what it is like to suffer in this life and face everything we do. He shows me how He is enough by giving me exactly what I need in terms of strength, rest, love, courage, etc. He shows me I can be dependent on Him and He will follow through. He shows me I don't have to be afraid. So I make the decision to keep running. I tell myself the truth-that the end result is worth it. That one day I too will be whole again-not broken by my sinfullness. He shows me that He sees me as His beloved just as I am. He shows me that in the times I'm struggling and don't want to run, He will meet me there and carry me if need be.

So I can't avoid the pain it's going to take to make it through life. It's promised that it will take discipline and suffering. But when I take a good look at who I'm running towards at the end I decide to have faith and continue running. The more I get to know Jesus the more I am glad to be running toward Him.